1. You must be a man. Sorry...
2. You must be a man okay with being a man married to another man -- some define this as "Out of the Closet."
3. You must be able to speak english.
4. No mustaches.
5. You must be able to tolerate some amount of random bursting into song.
6. Wash your hair.
7. Own more than one pair of jeans.
8. Not have a unibrow.
9. Pick up nuggets off of D-Hall's floor for me...
10. Not have a firecrotch.
I'm going to continue a little bit of my 300 reasons first..... and even before that I'm going to comment on the above 10 and point out how I didn't even follow my own guidelines. They were supposed to be the reasons I WON'T marry you. So I basically just screwed myself over by saying everything I did. Soo... I'm going to correct them and then do another 10. And then talk about my life a little. And hope someone IMs me, too, 'cause I'm bored down here.
1. If you're a woman.
2. If you're a man who's not okay being married to another man.
3. Someone who can't speak english.
4. No mustaches.
5. You hate on me for randomly bursting into song (unless it's lovingly hating... but maybe not even that)
6. You don't wash your hair.
7. You don't own more than one pair of jeans.
8. You have a unibrow.
9. If you wouldn't pick up nuggets off of D-Hall's floor for me... and it'd be even better if you ate them just for kicks.
10. If you have a firecrotch.
11. If you're too scared to go skydiving. Or other awesome stuff.
12. The sight of blood makes you queasy.
13. You take too long to do your hair/get ready.
14. You want to live near your parents.
15. You have no goals.
16. You have too many goals.
17. You're unable to understand sarcasm?
18. Or worse: You think you understand sarcasm and really don't.
19. You talk too much.
20. You don't talk enough.
I noticed a trend there at the end. I'm never going to be able to marry someone. :(
Anyway, I'm in Texas!!!!!! At my sister's. Whose internet doesn't work with my computer so I can't play all those ridiculously nerdy games that everyone who (really) knows me makes fun of me for playing. WELL. It's been a few sad days as I've felt the effects of withdrawal and such, but I think I'm finally getting over it. I've started doing cleaning for my sister and unpacking boxes and stuff... me being productive? I know, it's a shocker. THAT'S how bored I am? Nah. I mean, it can get sort of boring here, but it's AWESOME! Let me just start by quoting my favorite nephew quote so far. I have four nephews, but I'm only with three in Texas. Spencer, Travis, and Nathaniel. Spencer is the oldest and so forth; 5, 3, 1 is how the ages go I think. (My fourth nephew is Joshua, he's my other sister's kid... a little younger than Travis and older than Nathaniel... almost 2 now, I think?)
Heheh. So, Travis is obsessed with Thomas the Train. I mean, what kid of 3 years old isn't? But his birthday was a few days ago (a few days after mine, in June, which is ALWAYS a good month for a birthday!) and that's when he turned 3. His grandparents were visiting (not my parents, the others, and this is what happened...)
Grandma: Travis, look, I brought you a birthday present!
Grandma: That's right! Here!
Grandpa: Hey Travis! Happy Birthday! How old are you now?
Grandpa: Are you three?!
Grandpa: You're not?
Grandpa: Then how old are you?
Travis: ...I one.
Me: Travis, you're not one. You're three!
Travis: I not three! I one! Thomas one. I one.
...apparently this has been going on for awhile now. Thomas doesn't actually have an age. He has a train number on the side of him. Which is one. So who knows. Maybe Travis will be one forever.
Next story is about Joshua. Who I'm not with in Texas, but I was for awhile in Utah....... Joshua knows only a few words. And a lot of them he knows in sign language because he watches this awesome sign language show he loves. I'm totally a fan. He's gonna be bilingual when he grows up at this rate?! So yeah. But one of the words with no sign language, except a pointing finger, is "Owie." He's about ready for dinner the first day he's there... but something hurt him all the time when he sat down. We're about to eat dinner and we set Joshua in his chair and he starts whining. So we asked him what was wrong...
Me: Joshua, what's wrong? It's dinner time!
Joshua: Ahajwwejroamf... (whine/crying)... owie... owie...
Me: Aw, Joshua, it's okay. You don't have to sit in the chair for very long! Just for dinner! Where's your owie? I can kiss it better.
Joshua: *pointing* Owie bum. Owie bum.
Joshua: Owie bum..
He was waiting for that kiss all night. Jeeeeeze. Not what any of us were expecting. He kept it up the whole time he was there (when he remembered he had the owie) and it was definitely some good table entertainment. I've been having a boring summer otherwise, though... so I decided to write a Livejournal update! Noone reads it but it feels kinda good to write something! And maybe someday I can fill in random real journal dates with this stuff. I could also do that with my myspace if I ever remember the password. Ahaha. These internet sites aren't so bad after all. As long as they're still around when we're old and we can show our kids all the dumb stuff we did.