snyderdc (snyderdc) wrote,
snyderdc
snyderdc

"Biddies," "Bitties," or "Biddys"? The New College Epidemic.

So, recently, there's been a new-found craze among college students across the nation. Well, I'm not sure how extensive it is, but it's definitely extremely prevalent in the JMU society. It's called the "Biddy." I prefer "Biddy" to "Biddie" or "Bittie" because... well... when you make it into a plural, say, "Biddys" -- it just works better. A true "Biddy" wouldn't know how to spell or properly pluralize something, so why should we spell their name right? We shouldn't. That's the point. And each "Biddy" is easily recognized by a few... "club trademarks."

Fashion is always a worry among growing women who are trying to find their identity as they approach the age of 21 and meet men that they might potentially be able to settle down with for a good portion of their lifetime. The only problems with this are that talking about "fashion" to college girls is like... asking a 10-year-old boy what a tampon is. The "Biddy" fashionistas of the campus (whoever they are... perhaps God) dictate to all others exactly what should be bought and how it should be worn. Kind of like how an older sister tentatively explains to her brother what that smell is coming from the trashcan in the bathroom. And here's the current list I've compiled of what these so-called "Biddys" are wearing around JMU in 2009:

"Uggs" - There are these furry, boot-looking slipper-things called Uggs (made in Australia?? WTF??) and, of course, one cannot traverse the quad without at least one pair. They are "comfy" and provide you with a simple, easy slip-on pair of kangaroo feet. Seriously, most girls wearing these look like they belong in the Outback. That's why they come from Australia. Who'd ever have thought that we'd be making the aboriginees (I think that's what they're called, right?) rich?

"Northface" - Jackets. Jackets come in almost as many shapes and sizes as pasta (though that could be debatable). One might want a large jacket, a nice-looking jacket (sometimes called "peacoats" or other different euphemisms...), a light windbreaking jacket, etc. But at JMU, one always wants a Northface. Here's the thing. They don't look any different than your next jacket. Unless, of course, you get an ACTUAL Northface (which, I must say, they do make some legitimate jackets for those who are looking for the super-sized, small heater included kind of deal), but... most of these Biddys are getting a nice little Northface "fleece" which does nothing but put out a small little logo of three lines to the world... oh and the idea that you can buy one of these. Tight.

Last, but not least, every TRUE Biddie will have dyed, blonde hair. Even if you're an actual blonde, you must still dye the hair. A fake, but obviously purposeful attempt at having blonde hair is the most essential trait of Biddyism.

Now, you can be one too. But please, remember, we do not support the shiny, gold pair of Uggs. It's either dark brown, light brown, or black. Or the new grey ones that you can fold over with buttons. Those are tight, too.
Tags: biddie, biddy, bittie, blonde, fashion, idiot
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